Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
