i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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