U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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