did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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