Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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