Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
