GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
