just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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