Buhtt sex?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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