I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
