Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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