alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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