They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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