In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize