Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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