I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
