Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
