On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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