Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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