My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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