yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
