thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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