well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
