From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
