I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
