also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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