I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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