The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
