Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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