I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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