I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
That reminds me...we need to get swords
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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