if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
