I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
