I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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