I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
