Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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