it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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