You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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