what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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