history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
