I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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