You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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