walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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