So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
