i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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