'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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