i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
