so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize