I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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