Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
