Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
