Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
