eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
