So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
