I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
