Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i think i have two assholes
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
