Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
