College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
