I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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