Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
