She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Randomize
