margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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