ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
